Felatofil

For treatment of erectile sensitivity and hardening.

Directions: Apply directly to the penis, beginning at the tip and working gradually down to the base. Increase vigor. Incorporate testicles if possible. Continue until satisfied.

Side Effects: Felatofil has been show to cause testicular and penile discharge. Other side effects include extreme drowsiness and disinterest in affection. In the event of an erection lasting longer than four hours, consider high-fiving your partner.

Do not mix Felatofil with excessive alcohol. This diminishes the drug's effects, and may result in scarring of the ego.

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