Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I'm tired of ATMs only offering me my monies in denominations of twenty



A change of pace from the tried and tired ATMs of yesteryear. Our latest model dispenses client's money in haphazard, mixed change denominations. Each ATM is equipped with a rotating red light, siren, and metal catchment...designed to turn typical transactions into a rewarding occasion.

"Dust off those cargo pants! Transactions begin as low as $20."

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The Going Out of Business Store



Twenty-three years ago Jack Were opened the doors to his first business. Working for ten years in clothing retail and eight years in shoe retail at various outlets, Mr. Were knew the benefit of selling quality products at low prices. When it came to starting up a place of his own, he used this knowledge to create a store that could leverage the power of the sale and the quality of the brands that it sold.

So what advice does Mr. Were have after twenty-three years of running his own business?

"Oh, I'm no expert in retail advice. What I can tell you is that my store, Were Going out of Business Sale, has seen a steady flow of bargain shoppers and repeat customers ever since we opened our doors. I can only attribute that to a wide selection of top-notch goods all at a reasonable price and magic."

Monday, March 3, 2008

Futuriskey: Tomorrow's Whiskey Today



Futuriskey is the newest beverage to take the liquor market by storm. Each batch is painstakingly machine-made, canned and shipped out globally. Our most popular variety, the 25 Year, has a full body with a subtle metallic-oak flavor and a handful of earthy tones. This state-of-the-art taste is housed in an equally sophisticated canister. Made from 100% beverage-grade aluminum, it is easily capable of being chilled and comes in a handy fridge-friendly 12-pack.

"Tired of paying extra for bottles of whiskey already aged for you? Don't wait to drink the future's 25 year old whiskey!"